Watching the Olympics seemed like the perfect way to get through the last days of summer before heading off to college. Sports I've never heard of, countries I had no idea existed, all in the comfort of my living room.
I watched everything. Absolutely everything. I watched Michael Phelps dominate the swimming events. I wanted Misty May-Treanor and Karrie Walsh to win the gold on the beautiful beaches of Beijing.
And, like I'm sure many other students did, I became an avid Women's gymnastics fan (have you seen Shawn Johnson and Nastia Liukin?).
In watching the gymnastics events so much, the thing that bothered me about Women's gymnastics was the Floor Exercise. The routines seem simple enough. Everyone can tell when someone lands something and when someone misses, especially since the NBC commentators narrate every second.
But, unlike the Men's floor events, Women's floor has music to go along with the routine. It is intentionally designed to have soaring highs and dramatic lows to get the crowd to really feel the routine - until you realize that you're watching someone spastically moving around the floor.
Shawn Johnson took her music from the movie "August Rush," and while I'm sure the music was good in the movie, her arrangement featured police sirens and a lute for effects.
Yekatarina Kramarenko, a gymnast from Russia, had music that sounded like what the killer from "Saw" would use as pump-up music. But afterwards, in interviews, no one ever asked her what was with the strange and almost haunting women's voice that kept going on and on in her routine.
Nastia Luken, the other U.S. female who competed as an individual in Floor Exercise, had some very nice sounding classical music, but it was the kind of music that got people excited in Mozart's time, not in Chris Brown's time.
Jiang Yuyan, the 11-year-old Chinese gymnast, sported a peppy tune that apparently was specifically arranged for her and her routine. That sounded fine, but her routine was downright strange. There was one almost surreal moment where, in an attempt to show off her boobs, she jutted her chest out to the crowd. Only problem is, she is 11 and doesn't have any boobs.
What happened to gymnastics? Where have we gone? Last Olympics, there were songs from Big Bad Voodoo Daddy and the Charlie Daniels Band. We have now entered into the realm of poorly arranged orchestral music. And let me tell you that when I watch women jump, twist and tuck on a springy floor, then dammit I want there to be good music.
Here's my suggestion. Next year try and use "Lollipop" by Lil' Wayne. That'll get people to watch.
2008 Woodie Awards
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